You can't handle the truth!!!

A friend of mine tweeted something yesterday that stuck out to me and has reverberated in my mind since then: "Its SO emotionally draining to always be honest with ppl who can't receive it for what it is and nothing more..." Honestly, though... it is painful. I am an honest person. I don't like hiding things nor do I like feeling like I have to hide. It's tiring living with the fear that if I'm honest about something, the reaction I get will be so uncalled for I'll wish I had just said nothing at all. It's exhausting constantly trying to figure out ways to sugarcoat things and wrap them up in enough love and support and sunshine and lollipops and rainbows and everything vomit-inducing so people don't feel attacked and get defensive.

I genuinely don't think I know a single person in my life who can hear the truth, even if it reflects poorly on them, with calm, patience and a willing acceptance. There are a small handful of people who will have their defensive overreactions then come back a day or a week later with an apology and a willingness to discuss properly... but the more I go through that cycle, the less patience I have with it. I don't understand why the process is necessary. Why do things always  need to be turned into an attack? People hear something and it immediately becomes 1) how dare you say that? 2) you're wrong 3) this is awful timing; I didn't need to hear this right now and you're insensitive for bringing it up 4) I've done/been through x, y and z, so I'm entitled to do whatever it is you have a problem with 5) there was miscommunication so that means I wasn't wrong and therefore YOU are wrong for calling me on it 6) any combination of the previous. 

I tell the truth. I don't attack, I try not to blame, I try to make sure people always know I'm not condemning or punishing them in any way. I just try to say what it is I think/feel in a way that is clear and give a suggestion as to how we can fix the situation. And I try to ALWAYS do that before it gets to a point that it's actually a problem -- be proactive so that no negative feelings or resentment actually build. I try to nip potential problems in the bud to avoid them actualizing. But I can only really do my part and it is tiring to continually get defensiveness and negativity in response.

When I retweeted my friend, I replied that sometimes you just don't want to bother anymore. Sometimes it feels like the easier thing to do is just say nothing and hope it blows over. That, in and of itself, is tiring. With most people in the world, I feel completely trapped between a rock and a hard place: either I just quietly accept things I don't like and potentially hate them for it down the road, or I have arguments and strained distance between us because I state the truth and they don't like it. Neither of those is very appealing, and that's why I simply don't really have close relationships with people. It's too much work and it is just exhausting.

I am not a patient person. I may not be boisterous when upset, but that doesn't mean I am willing to take any kind of disrespect over and over again. Emotionally blackmailing people into quietly accepting everything one offers by punishing them anytime they speak up for themselves may not be the WORST kind of disrespect, but it is bad enough that I feel my patience diminishing.